Derby Weekend 2010

I did not go to the Derby this year.

I could have gone, I had the money.  I could have flown, bussed, driven, or something else.

But I did not.

I wanted to turn over a new leaf in my life.

See, the Derby is a party, and festival, and they have 11 or 12 horse races too.

I went in past years, because I viewed it as an expression of a new life for me.

I wanted to see new things, and see the country, and experience life.

I convinced 1 friend to go, and we went, and he enjoyed it, and now he goes on his own.

I’m glad he liked it so much.  I had to get half naked in a bar and pound on tables for him to realize how interesting it would be to go.

There were 3 friends there, and only 1 was convinced that day.

I wanted to share it with everyone I care for.  The pageantry, the excess, the history, the gambling, the freeing feeling that I get being on the open road, the world your bitch, the masses parting as you roll through, with a dollar in your pocket, or a thousand of them, it doesn’t matter, as long as you are out, in the world, alive, moving and thinking.

Well, I went for 3 years, consecutively and it was cool.

All three times were great.  All for their own reasons.

As I’ve mentioned in this space, in the past year, my wife to be died, and I traveled and searched and looked for something more in the world to give life meaning to me.

I found nothing, to be honest.

I have a new love, unique from Kia, and amazing in it’s own right.

But there is nothing external that gives my life purpose, at least nothing that I’ve found.

I continue to look for things to do, to make myself feel good, or better.

I’ve gone and found some, we’ll see if they are truly as exciting as they appear in my head.

They follow the same theme as what I’ve done in the past, just more concentrated and serious.

More defined, and less concerned and dependent on help and assistance from others.

Good luck finding your path.